My Week on Self’s 7-Day Detox Plan

I am ardently opposed to any sort of detox plan. Usually because it requires you to not eat, sip some broth, and totally destroy your metabolism. Your body is designed to rid itself of bad on its own, just stop putting bad in! I was intrigued by Self’s detox plan because that’s its core promise—eat good food. Click here for the full plan and check below for my day to day experience with the food portion. 

The Pros

  • I lost two to three pounds during the week and was able to get over the plateau I had been stuck on for way too long.
  • I found new recipes utilizing more fruits and vegetables and other superfoods in my diet.
  • I tried new foods I had been avoiding because I didn’t know what to do with them. Hello, kale!
  • Two hundred free calories.

The Cons

  •  At the end of the week I crashed a little hard and over ate because I felt a little deprived.
  • This is not a cheap diet. The frozen fruit alone for the smoothies put me over budget.
  • You use some of the ingredients for only one recipe. If its fresh food that translates into waste of money when it goes bad.
  • I spent a lot of time cooking and preparing food since many of the recipes couldn’t carryover.

General Tips

  • By in large, the smoothies aren’t very sweet. With each one, I melted a few tablespoons of organic honey into it.
  • A lot  of the recipes are bland. Add your favorite spices.
  • Up until this week, I’ve been morally opposed to smoothies for breakfast because my body considers them drink not food. However, using the recipes which thicken them with yogurt keeps feeling okay until lunch time.
  • I didn’t follow the plan exactly, but instead doubled some recipes for the next day. This save on time and waste.

Day 1: The Shrimp Tacos is by far my favorite dinner of the week. I was a little uncertain at the blueberry salsa because I don’t like the texture of blueberries, but I smashed it up more than they recommended and the meal was delicious. This one will definitely be on my regular rotation.

Day 2: Hated the Sweet Peach Smoothie. My only thought is that it has almond butter and that is not my flavor of choice. I tried gulping it but only got a brain freeze.

The Salmon Salad for lunch lacked flavor. The second time I made it, I found a recipe for a lemon dill dressing and that helped it.

I really enjoyed the Rosemary Chicken for dinner. However, the potatoes take longer to cook than the recipe calls for and the broccoli gets overcooked. Put in the potatoes to roast and then add the broccoli about ten minutes later. Make enough of the yogurt for two days and you save the trouble the next day.

Day 3: I like the Green Smoothie but it comes out less than the others. Up the pineapple if you want.

The Veggie Lover’s Wrap was tasteless the first time I made it. The second time I added a ton of pepper and sauteed it with an entire chopped garlic clove. After that I really liked it. Surprising since this was my first foray into tofu.

The Roast Pork Chutney is fun and creative way to add fruit to dinner. The cherry chutney was by far the best part of the meal. However, you will have to spice up the meat because salt and pepper isn’t enough. Also, barley, not the most flavorous food. It needs something, and if someone can tell me what, I’d appreciate it.

Day 4: I am not going anywhere near the Cocoa-Banana Smoothie. Cocoa should be warm, and I learned my lesson about the almond butter.

The Tuna Salad Sandwich is my favorite lunch. I made it for two and then finally had a day where I didn’t have to make a lunch.

Didn’t try the dinner. Too many things I don’t trust in it.

Day 5: Good smoothie but if you’re using frozen pineapple, us a little more than is called for because frozen leaves a lot space in the measuring cup.

I’m sorry but the Pecan Pilaf lacked flavor. The next time I added more of the spices but it still didn’t quite work.

Cooked kale is not my friend, and citrus kale reminds me of the last time I got food poisoning (not going into the details). Again, plain barley? This needs something.

Day 6: This is by far my favorite smoothie. It’s easy, healthy, and sweet. I don’t use almond milk in any of the recipes that call for it. Too expensive and not my favorite. I just use regular milk or water.

The Steak in Mole is another good recipe to double the mole. Too much work for too little pay.

Day 7: The Lunchbox lunch is another keeper. Easy to make and easy to take.

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